


but my mind holds the key

by Nokomis



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-11
Updated: 2012-05-11
Packaged: 2017-11-05 03:46:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/402106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nokomis/pseuds/Nokomis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bruce Banner is stealth-dated by Tony Stark.</p>
            </blockquote>





	but my mind holds the key

**Author's Note:**

> Written on my LJ for a prompt by citibyrd. Title taken from Arcade Fire's "My Body is a Cage" because I am nothing if not obvious in my choices.

Bruce is used to being mistrusted by people who know his little secret. After all, _he_ doesn’t even fully trust himself; it would be hypocritical to expect other people to. The other guy isn’t exactly mindful of collateral damage, and Bruce has a little tally in the back of his mind of all the people that he has hurt because of what he has become.

This made Tony Stark’s perverse fascination with pushing Bruce to his limits all the more alarming. And, possibly more alarming, Bruce appreciates it. It’s one of the main reasons he accepts Tony’s invitation to Stark Industries’ R&D, and every time Bruce enters his workshop – because Tony had just handed him over an entire workshop filled with gadgets and equipment so cutting-edge that even Bruce isn’t sure what half of the things _do_ , like that was something that just happened to people – he hopes that Tony will be there, tinkering and prodding.

And it’s… good. Remarkably good, in a way Bruce never could have imagined when he removed himself from society and started living life in the forgotten corners of the world, helping the best he could and hoping that somehow, living with the day-to-day rage that came with seeing children dying of things that could be easily prevented could help him manage the other guy.

It mostly even worked.

But Tony is Tony, and therefore doesn’t know when to quit, and some days instead of going into Stark Tower Bruce just… wanders. Sometimes it’s because the other guy is creeping too close to the surface, muddling Bruce’s own thoughts and making every second a struggle for control, but other times it’s just that… Bruce has gotten used to being alone. To being isolated, even when he’s surrounded by others.

And Tony doesn’t let that happen. Tony seems to have an unlimited amount of free time, especially for a man who has as many irons in the fire as he did. He peers over Bruce’s shoulder and makes annoyingly helpful observations about things that had been staring Bruce in the face for hours, and drags Bruce out for what Tony called ‘real lunches’ but in reality are the kind of thing that only billionaires do, like flying to Philadelphia for cheesesteak or Chicago for a red hot.

“You watch a lot of the Food Network, don’t you?” Bruce asks after Tony dragged them to an alarmingly ramshackle restaurant on the coast that served the best crab cakes Bruce has ever eaten.

“I have JARVIS keep a list,” Tony admits. 

After a few weeks of this, it becomes alarmingly clear to Bruce that this isn’t normal Tony Stark behavior. Tony doesn’t have a flock of pet scientists that he takes out for food. Tony doesn’t normally stick his nose in other people’s research; Tony is usually too busy coming up with gadgets that could change the world.

And so Bruce doesn’t come in that day, and wanders the city.

The other guy is close to the surface, even though Bruce doesn’t think he’s especially angry. It’s something else, like his emotions are terrifying him and he’s calling up the other guy subconsciously because he doesn’t want to deal with…

Because he doesn’t want to deal with the idea that Tony means something _more_ to him. He accepted long ago that he wasn’t suitable for… for certain emotions, and that it was safer for everyone if he just didn’t indulge himself. 

The thought of what could have become of Betty’s life if they’d stayed together still haunts him.

But Tony is… Tony is different. Tony is just as fragile as the next human outside of his suit. Even more, really, with his arc reactor exposed and glowing on his chest. Bruce would never think of Tony as someone who wore his heart on his sleeve, but instead it was something even more alarming for someone with Bruce’s issues. Tony wore his life like a target in the center of his chest, and even though Tony himself was confident that Bruce wouldn’t harm him – he liked to bring up the time the other guy had saved his life entirely too often for Bruce’s liking – Bruce just doesn’t believe it.

Bruce hurts everyone. It’s what the other guy _does_ , what Bruce did when he screwed up that experiment.

He ends up at the city aquarium, sitting on a bench in front of a giant tank where sharks slowly swim back and forth, tails switching angrily as they reach the confines of their prison.

He’s been there maybe an hour, just watching, when Tony settles down beside him.

“I didn’t take you for the kind of guy who likes watching fish swim about,” Tony says, because he’s incapable of sitting in silence. “We can get a goldfish for the lab if you want. Two, even.”

“I don’t like sharks,” Bruce replies, watching the largest of the sharks make his slow progress from one end of the tank to the other. “The other guy does, though. Something about mindless killing machines enjoying each other’s captivity.”

Tony pauses. “Do you talk to the other guy often?”

Bruce lets out a huff that could be a laugh. “We don’t talk, Tony. We’re the same person. It’s pretty easy to understand your own brain.”

That manages to shut Tony Stark up; if Bruce wasn’t feeling so raw and strange he might have even teased him about it.

“Are you in danger of going all green and ragey right now? Because I’d prefer it not happen next to a glass wall with sharks behind it. Just saying.”

“No,” Bruce says. “That’s not going to happen.”

Tony manages to sit quietly for half a minute before he bursts out with, “You’re not a mindless killing machine. I mean, during that battle…”

“The other guy saved you. I know. You keep bringing it up,” Bruce says. “That doesn’t mean I’m not dangerous, Tony. I am.”

“Everything is dangerous,” Tony says airily. “I mean, my suit started out as a bunch of missiles. What matters is intent.”

“And what’s your intent?” Bruce asks before he can convince himself that he doesn’t want to know.

“I just want you to be a real person again,” Tony says. 

It isn’t what Bruce expected. It’s not that Tony is a completely self-centered asshole, it’s just that… Bruce was expecting him to say something about wanting Bruce for himself. Even if it was just his brain, or control of the other guy… 

No one really cares about the man behind the monster. 

“Me too,” Bruce says quietly, staring intently at one of the sharks. He doesn’t want to see Tony’s expression. If it’s gloating, or if it’s… something softer. Something Bruce doesn’t think he could handle right now.

“Well now that that’s settled,” Tony says, though his voice doesn’t quite hold the same manic joy as usual, “I’ve got the perfect place picked out for our lunch.”

_Date_ , Bruce thinks. That’s what these lunches are, in Tony’s roundabout way. Take someone out before asking them. It’s pure Tony Stark, in all the most infuriating and wonderful ways. He takes a deep breath.

“Okay,” he says. If Tony’s willing to risk it…. He knows what he’s risking. Of that, at least, Bruce is sure.


End file.
